Barden LesBellas
by AphrodisiacStrawberry
Summary: Kind of an AU. What will the Barden Bellas talk about in a chat group? Find out! Rated M for their potty mouths, well, writings.


Hey beautiful people! I'm new here and this is my first story, I wrote it a long time ago but I just decided now to share it with you. Anyway it's just a silly random thing and I hope it makes you smile. English it's not my mother tongue so I guarantee you that there will be at least a couple of mistakes. Well, enjoy!

**I don't own Pitch Perfect nor any of these characters. **I just own the idea and all the mistakes.

* * *

[Picture of an angel singing] **Barden Bellas.**

_Aubrey, Chloe, Fat Amy, CR, Denise, Lily, Ashley, Jessica, Beca, Stacie._

**Aubrey:** Tomorrow 8 a.m. aca-bitches._ (5:52)_

Sharp! _(5:52)_

**Fat Amy: **Really, Blondie? There's a party in Bumper's tonight. _(5:52)_

**Aubrey: **I don't care. _(5:52)_

I want you all tomorrow at 8 a.m. or you get double session of cardio. _(5:52)_

**Fat Amy: **Yes ma'am! _(5:52)_

**Chloe:** There's a party tonight? I'm in! _(5:53)_

**Stacie: **Me too. _(5:53)_

**Beca: **I'm gonna pass. _(5:53)_

**Stacie: **What? _(5:53)_

No Becs you come with me. _(5:53)_

**Beca:** Exactly what for? _(5:53)_

**Stacie: **Because you're my hunting partner, duh! _(5:54)_

**Chloe: **Your vagina is a hunter too? _(5:54)_

**Beca: **First of all: Ew! _(5:54)_

And second I'm not her hunting partner. _(5:54)_

Stacie is nuts. _(5:54)_

**Stacie: **Becs is a vagina hunter. _(5:54)_

**Fat Amy: **LOL! _(5:55)_

**CR: **You play for my team, Beca? _(5:55)_

**Beca: **Shall we talk about the blonde you were hooking up with last week, Stace? _(5:55)_

The blonde GIRL. _(5:55)_

**Fat Amy: **Shit, Stace! You're a vagina lover too? _(5:55)_

**Stacie: **Nah, I fuck with hot people. _(5:55)_

Don't care if it's a dude or a dudette. _(5:55)_

**Beca: **That's not even a word… _(5:55)_

**Stacie:** See if I care. _(5:55)_

**CR:** I can introduce you to a group of lesbian friends that I have._ (5:56)_

You're gonna have a lot of "fun"._ (5:56)_

**Denise: **You told me you weren't in that group anymore!_ (5:56)_

The redhead bitch likes you!_ (5:56)_

**Chloe: **Moi?_ (5:56)_

**Denise: **Not you Chlo._ (5:56)_

Someone who's a real bitch!_ (5:56)_

**CR: **Come on babe, don't get mad._ (5:56)_

**Fat Amy: **Lesbodrama, ladies!_ (5:56)_

**CR:** No time for jokes._ (5:56)_

**Fat Amy:** Jesus… Sorry then pal… _(5:56)_

**Denise:** Don't blame on her, you're the one who's in real trouble!_ (5:56)_

**CR: **I'm coming to yours Den, we need to talk._ (5:56)_

**Fat Amy: **You guys think is a serious talk?_ (5:58)_

**Beca:** I hope not._ (5:58)_

**Stacie: **Yeah, I don't think so._ (5:59)_

Ashley and Jessica will hear lesbian sex screams in a couple of minutes._ (5:59)_

**Ashley: **Gross Stacie._ (5:59)_

**Jessica: **Really gross!_ (5:59)_

**Stacie: **That's my charm bitches._ (6:00)_

**Fat Amy: **Here's the Stacie we all love._ (6:00)_

**Stacie: **You know I wouldn't mind giving some lady loving to any of you, ladies._ (6:01)_

**Fat Amy: **I kinda like this Sapphic side of you, Stace._ (6:01)_

**Stacie:** And you've seen nothing 'bout it yet ;)_ (6:01)_

**Fat Amy: **LOL!_ (6:01)_

I'm gonna dump my boyfriends for you!_ (6:02)_

**Aubrey: **Enough!_ (6:02)_

Some of us are really trying to study._ (6:02)_

**Stacie: **Then put the silence mode, Captain._ (6:02)_

**Aubrey: **Are you kidding me, Stacie?_ (6:02)_

**Stacie: **I'll do to you whatever you want me to, Sexy._ (6:02)_

**Fat Amy: **LesboStacie is my new favorite Stace now._ (6:02)_

**Chloe: **Aubrey is actually blushing!_ (6:02)_

**Aubrey: **Shut up!_ (6:02)_

**Stacie: **You know Bree..._ (6:02)_

If you wanna do something funnier than study you can come to my room. _(6:02)_

I'm all alone… _(6:02)_

**Beca:** Stop it, Stacie!_ (6:03)_

My eyes are hurting and I have the picture in my head._ (6:03)_

**Stacie: **Is it hot?_ (6:04)_

**Aubrey: **Shut up!_ (6:04)_

**Stacie:** Come here and make me._ (6:04)_

**Fat Amy:** We need to change the group's name._ (6:04)_

What about Barden LesBellas?_ (6:04)_

**Chloe: **I agree._ (6:04)_

**Ashley: **Me too._ (6:04)_

**Aubrey: **I quit because you're making me nervous._ (6:04)_

**Stacie: **I can help you relax, beautiful._ (6:04)_

Just don't puke on me._ (6:05)_

**Aubrey: **Fuck you!_ (6:05)_

**Stacie:** Whenever you want._ (6:05)_

**Chloe:** She's really pissed, Stacie._ (6:07)_

**Beca: **You've been a little mean, Stace… _(6:07)_

**Stacie: **Whoa?_ (6:07)_

I was just kidding… _(6:07)_

**Ashley: **But you've been kinda rude… _(6:08)_

**Stacie: **You think so?_ (6:08)_

I'm sorry Bree._ (6:08)_

I didn't mean to offend you._ (6:08)_

**Chloe: **She's gone and she left her phone here._ (6:09)_

Try again later._ (6:10)_

**Fat Amy: **Changing the subject, who's getting the solo for the finals?_ (6:14)_

**Jessica: **I though Chloe was?_ (6:14)_

**Chloe: **Oh, I can't you know… _(6:15)_

**Fat Amy: **Because of the nodes._ (6:15)_

**Ashley: **The nodes._ (6:15)_

**Beca: **Nodes._ (6:15)_

**Jessica: **Then who's getting it? _(6:16)_

**Chloe: **I don't know but I think we're going to talk about that at tomorrow's rehearsals._ (6:16)_

**Fat Amy: **Cool then._ (6:16)_

**Chloe: **Hey! _(6:50)_

Stacie is in my room apologizing to Aubrey!_ (6:50)_

**Beca: **We made her feel bad._ (6:51)_

**Chloe:** No way!_ (6:51)_

Aubrey's feelings were hurt because of her!_ (6:51)_

**Beca: **Aubrey is a drama queen… _(6:51)_

Stacie was joking and we all now she doesn't have a limit established._ (6:51)_

**Chloe: **That's not an excuse for being rude to people… _(6:52)_

**Beca: **I'm not arguing with you, Chlo._ (6:52)_

Not for a silly thing._ (6:52)_

**Chloe: **My BF getting hurt is not a 'silly thing' to me, Beca Mitchell!_ (6:53)_

**Beca: **An exaggerated reaction of an exaggerated blonde is a 'silly thing' to me, Chloe Beale!_ (6:54)_

**Fat Amy: **You two stop it; I don't want more discussions in this group._ (6:54)_

**Ashley: **I agree with her, four mad Bellas are enough for me._ (6:54)_

**Chloe: **Well, rest it two then because Stacie and Aubrey are friends again._ (6:57)_

**Fat Amy: **Yeah "friends"…_ (6:57)_

**Beca: **Come on… _(6:57)_

No more lesbians in this group please._ (6:57)_

**Fat Amy: **Barden LesBellas, ladies and gentlemen._ (6:58)_

**Stacie: **Wassup, bitches?_ (7:05)_

**Fat Amy: **Hey Stace!_ (7:05)_

Did you make up or make out with Aubrey?_ (7:05)_

**Stacie: **Unfortunately the first one only._ (7:05)_

**Aubrey:** Stacie!_ (7:05)_

**Stace:** Can you blame me?_ (7:06)_

You're hot, Blondie._ (7:06)_

**Chloe: **OMG! _(7:06)_

She's blushing again!_ (7:06)_

**Aubrey: **There's no need to tell everyone, Chlo!_ (7:06)_

**Chloe: **Red as a tomato._ (7:06)_

**Stacie: **;)_ (7:06)_

**Fat Amy:** Okay… _(7:06)_

Maybe I was wrong when I said that only one of us was a lesbian._ (7:07)_

**Beca:** Stacie is promiscuous, that's another level._ (7:08)_

**Stacie: **Hush Hobbit. _(7:08)_

**Fat Amy:** LMAO!_ (7:08)_

**Beca:** You're so dead, Conrad… _(7:08)_

**Stacie:** Will you punch me with your kid-sized fists?_ (7:08)_

**Fat Amy:** Good one!_ (7:08)_

**Stacie: **Of course, I'm a genius._ (7:08)_

**Beca: **SO DEAD!_ (7:08)_

**Stacie:** You love me, Rebecca._ (7:08)_

**Beca: **You wish, Anastasia._ (7:08)_

**Fat Amy: **No!_ (7:08)_

**Stacie:** It's been a long time since someone called me that… _(7:09)_

**Fat Amy: **No aca-fucking way!_ (7:09)_

Your complete name is Anastasia?_ (7:09)_

**Stacie: **Yeah._ (7:09)_

It's kinda ugly._ (7:10)_

**Fat Amy: **But you sound like a prude… _(7:10)_

**Ashley: **She's everything but a prude… _(7:10)_

**Chloe:** She doesn't even know what prude means._ (7:10)_

**Beca:** Anastasia Heather Conrad actually._ (7:10)_

**Fat Amy: **I'm gonna die laughing._ (7:10)_

**Stacie:** Stacie is way hotter than that monstrosity of a name._ (7:11)_

**Jessica: **It's a little horrible._ (7:11)_

**Fat Amy:** Just a little?_ (7:11)_

**Aubrey:** It's cute._ (7:12)_

**Fat Amy:** Oh Lord… _(7:12)_

**Stacie:** You think so?_ (7:12)_

**Aubrey:** Well, it's just cute for you._ (7:12)_

**Fat Amy:** Is Aubrey flirting with Anastasia in a group conversation?_ (7:12)_

Aca-excuse me?_ (7:13)_

**Chloe: **Quoting you: Aca-believe it._ (7:13)_

**Stacie:** It's the first time someone feels attracted by my full name._ (7:13)_

**Beca:** You mean instead of your cleavage?_ (7:13)_

**Stacie: **Exactly, Rebecca._ (7:13)_

**Beca: **Stop calling me that!_ (7:13)_

**Stacie:** You've revealed my darkest secret._ (7:13)_

**Beca:** So?_ (7:13)_

Aubrey thinks it's cute._ (7:13)_

Still don't know why._ (7:13)_

**Stacie:** Hey Bree?_ (7:15)_

**Aubrey:** Yeah?_ (7:16)_

**Stacie: **Will you go on a date with me?_ (7:16)_

**Aubrey:** I'd love to._ (7:16)_

**Fat Amy:** Lesbian love is in the air, babes._ (7:18)_

Grave some before heterosexuality comes back._ (7:18)_

**Beca:** I like you Chloe!_ (7:22)_

**Fat Amy:** You know I was joking right?_ (7:22)_

**Chloe:** OMG!_ (7:22)_

I like you too Beca!_ (7:22)_

**Beca:** Come to my room, I'm alone._ (7:22)_

**Chloe:** Be there in five!_ (7:22)_

**Fat Amy:** Barden LesBellas, Barden LesBellas indeed._ (7:25)_

_Fat Amy changed the subject to "Barden LesBellas"_

* * *

Well that's it!

For the record I don't really think that Anastasia and Heather are bad names, they're kinda cool, I just tried to think about names that sound like... I don't know... ¿Old is the word? I don't know... I just don't want to offend anybody.

About the couple Stacie/Aubrey I didn't like it very much but now they seem cute to me, don't you think?

**Thank you for reading!**


End file.
